why handguns are better then woman

messiah · Post by **messiah** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 1:14 pm

hahahaha.. this is a keeper.

mikemean406 · Post by **mikemean406** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 1:14 pm

HA

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Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 1:16 pm

That's freakin hilarious Bug, just don't let Mouse read this

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Banshee · Post by **Banshee** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 2:18 pm

Hahahahaha!

Thats just what i needed!
Thanks for the laugh.

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-Bryan, AKA CPbanshee-
e-mail me! cpbanshee@excite.com

[This message has been edited by Banshee (edited 01-22-2001).]

minir · Post by **minir** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 3:50 pm

Geez bug your on a Roll today

Great Stuff.

as he secretly downloads for use later, where he will of course take all credit

regards minir

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 3:55 pm

Here's one for you Bug!

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer. On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said "As your stay is coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger." This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers. Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief. The African ambassador was much impressed with the courageous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year. When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room n the palace, the African ambassador spoke "Now it is time for you to sample our game, African roulette". So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six beautiful, naked women. The African ambassador said "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a blow job - take your pick". The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said "Well, OK, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?" With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: "One of them's a cannibal"

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:02 pm

and here is one for the rest of you men laughing it up in here...

Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

Blitz · Post by **Blitz** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:16 pm

Originally posted by mouse:
and here is one for the rest of you men laughing it up in here...

Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them.

I guess we now know who is a Blonde

bug · Post by **bug** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:21 pm

now now, Blitz
let's be a gentleman, and try and behave...

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mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:23 pm

Originally posted by Blitz:
I guess we now know who is a Blonde

Not me honey!

But I will look for a Special joke just for you...

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:31 pm

Here we go Blitz! One just for you! LOL

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?

To knock the penises off the smart ones.

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

fanta · Post by **fanta** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:44 pm

LOL Mouse!!!!
I guess thats why so many women have Penis Envy.

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"If ignorance is bliss, then slap the smile off my face"

[This message has been edited by fanta (edited 01-22-2001).]

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 4:48 pm

Originally posted by fanta:
LOL Mouse!!!!
I guess thats why so many women have Penis Envy.

My Mommy told me that as long as I have one of "These" I can have as many of "Those " that I want! LOL

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

wee96 · Post by **wee96** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 5:08 pm

I would love to beat you with a steel pipe mouse...

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 5:15 pm

Originally posted by wee96:
I would love to beat you with a steel pipe mouse...

That's okay to feel that way, Every time I hear about a new Virus I think of you too...

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

wee96 · Post by **wee96** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 5:20 pm

Good

At least were on the same page, fatty.

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 5:30 pm

Originally posted by wee96:
Good At least were on the same page, fatty.

Ya know Wee, I am not going to sit here and waste my time trading insult's with you, if you were ANY kind of man, you would talk to me on ICQ and let me know what your problem is. I have never done anything to you but offer you friendship. Be a Man, get on ICQ and stop acting like an a$$.

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

bug · Post by **bug** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 5:47 pm

jeeeze..........
this thread has needlessly taken a turn for the worse and gotten extremely nasty!
-

ms_pammy · Post by **ms_pammy** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 6:09 pm

MEN ARE LIKE:...

... Bank Accounts.
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.

... Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Curling Irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

... Government Bonds.
They take so long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are
either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Just thought I would add my 2 cents!! LOL

Pam ((:

bug · Post by **bug** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 6:40 pm

ahhh, that's better - a little on the lighter side. And to further the chuckles of us vs them....
-
'What It Really Means'

"I can't find it,"
REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless."
"That's women's work,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."

"Will you marry me?"
REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find
the
washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"It's a guy thing,"
REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it
logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to explain,"
REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately,"
REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late,"
REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a
maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard,"
REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear,"
REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love,"
REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me,"
REALLY MEANS, "You want me to stay awake."

"It's really a good movie,"
REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked
women."

"You know how bad my memory is,"
REALLY MEANS, "I remember the words to the theme song of "F
Troop", the
address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle
Identification Number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot
your
birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses,"
REALLY MEANS, "The girl selling them on the corner was a real
babe,
wearing a thong."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself. It's no big deal,"
REALLY MEANS, "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to
death
before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house,"
REALLY MEANS, "I once threw a dirty towel near the laundry
basket."

"Hey, I've got reasons for what I'm doing,"
REALLY MEANS, "I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"What did I do this time?"
REALLY MEANS, "What did you catch me doing?"

"She's one of the rabid feminists,"
REALLY MEANS, "She refused to make my coffee."

"I heard you,"
REALLY MEANS, "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said,
and am
hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough
so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You really look terrific in that outfit,"
REALLY MEANS, "Please don't try on another outfit. I'm
starving."

"I brought you a present,"
REALLY MEANS, "It was free ice scraper night at the ball/hockey
game."

"I missed you,"
REALLY MEANS, "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry
and we
are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are,"
REALLY MEANS, "No one will ever see us alive again."

"This relationship is getting too serious,"
REALLY MEANS, "I like you as much as I like my truck."

"We share the housework,"
REALLY MEANS, "I make the messes. She cleans them up."

"I don't need to read the instructions,"
REALLY MEANS, "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without
printed
help."
-
heh!

Blitz · Post by **Blitz** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 7:41 pm

Originally posted by mouse:
Here we go Blitz! One just for you! LOL

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?

To knock the penises off the smart ones.

I don't get it

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 8:25 pm

Me neither!

RoundEye · Post by **RoundEye** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 8:36 pm

If you knock the penis off, you get a smart woman. All that leaves then is stupid men.

Get it now?

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It's never too fast!

mouse · Post by **mouse** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 8:39 pm

ahhh come on guy's!!!

The "Smart one's" being the woman.

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It is better to be hated for what you are, then loved for what you are not.

Frost · Post by **Frost** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:31 pm

Originally posted by mouse:
ahhh come on guy's!!!

The "Smart one's" being the woman.

But... women arent smart at all.

Frost · Post by **Frost** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:32 pm

heres an old joke i heard awhile ago
Why did the woman cross the road??

Who cares she should be in the kitchen.

EvilAngel · Post by **EvilAngel** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:41 pm

Ms pammy I love you! hahah j/k

I love the fact that we have wemans rights because that means they can work and we men a=can stay home and clean house!

bug · Post by **bug** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:42 pm

easy killer! [frost]
that could be construed as derogatory comment against all woman in general.

[This message has been edited by bug (edited 01-22-2001).]

Frost · Post by **Frost** » Mon Jan 22, 2001 10:45 pm

Originally posted by bug:
easy killer! [frost]
that could be construed as derogatory comment against all woman in general.

[This message has been edited by bug (edited 01-22-2001).]

huh??

bug · Post by **bug** » Tue Jan 23, 2001 12:57 am

You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
You can trade a .44 for two .22's.

You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.

If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.

Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.

A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

Handguns function normally every day of the month.

A handgun won't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"

A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it.

You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without having problems.

heh!

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The_Lurker · Post by **The_Lurker** » Sun May 01, 2005 3:18 pm

wee96 wrote:Good At least were on the same page, fatty.

lol