Looking for an evil sidekick...

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:39 am

My previous evil sidekick, don't even remember his name, is no longer. He was caught buying Girl Scout cookies. Replacement needed. Apply in this thread - state your qualifications.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:57 am

Rape, pillage, arson, rape... "...but you said rape twice?" "I like rape..." *sitting around campfire, floating air biscuits after eating beans...*

TD, let's face it, you know it, I know it, hell, everyone knows that I am bad to da bone... Heaven didn't want me, you were afraid of me, so here I am, stuck here... Oh, you want a raise? I haven't reviewed your salary in quite a while. My bad, I've been busy...

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:58 am

Whats wrong with buying girl scout cookies, did he forget to hit on the girl scouts? lol

Thin mints, Do-si-dos, Tagalongs, and Samoas man, every evil kitchen needs a supply!

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:16 pm

Ken wrote:Rape, pillage, arson, rape... "...but you said rape twice?" "I like rape..." *sitting around campfire, floating air biscuits after eating beans...*

TD, let's face it, you know it, I know it, hell, everyone knows that I am bad to da bone... Heaven didn't want me, you were afraid of me, so here I am, stuck here... Oh, you want a raise? I haven't reviewed your salary in quite a while. My bad, I've been busy...

As an Assistant Admin, you can only be so bad though. You talk a big game...let's test your mettle. Ban Brent.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:17 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:Whats wrong with buying girl scout cookies, did he forget to hit on the girl scouts? lol

Thin mints, Do-si-dos, Tagalongs, and Samoas man, every evil kitchen needs a supply!

You have to STEAL them! Do I have to explain everything?!

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:22 pm

The Devil wrote: You have to STEAL them! Do I have to explain everything?!

Well I just get others to pay for them

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:25 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:Well I just get others to pay for them

Very cunning - a good quality. But I need more badness than stealing your mom's loose change for desert treats.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:27 pm

The Devil wrote:My previous evil sidekick, don't even remember his name.

*that was me. Bummer. Didn't know there was a camera outside the store*

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:36 pm

The Devil wrote:As an Assistant Admin, you can only be so bad though. You talk a big game...let's test your mettle. Ban Brent.

How many times? Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, you want one? I'll sell it to you cheap...

Everything has a price, just ask your sister...

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:38 pm

MadDoctor wrote:*that was me. Bummer. Didn't know there was a camera outside the store*

The sheep is out of the bag. But since you did the right thing and confessed, it proves that you're the wrong man for the job. You should have lied and denied.

[SHAKES HEAD]

Where did I go wrong?

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:41 pm

The Devil wrote:Very cunning - a good quality. But I need more badness than stealing your mom's loose change for desert treats.

Its cool, I'll keep doing my evil in the shadows, let you and ur sidekick take teh heat for it.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:41 pm

PS. screw with me and I'll close the general discussion forums!

Wait! Maybe I'll ban the devil!

Wanna see the size of my massive e-penis?

JawZ · Post by **JawZ** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:42 pm

I like to dress up in girl scout outfits while grinning menacingly in the mirror whilst eating cookies made with Liv-A-Snaps.

I have often had secret desires to blow up Blizzrad's World of Warcraft servers in hopes of creating mass panic and suicides.

Hate cake love pie.

I voted for George Bush...all of them....twice.

I've had unprotected sex, even with myself....(brb)

I teabag everyone, even my own teammates in any game.

And lastly, I hit on Indian chicks at Dell Tech support. RED DOT FTW!!!!!

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:45 pm

How about a beeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaatch for a sidekick eh?

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:46 pm

I called in a bomb threat to the Special Olympics.

I poke holes in condoms while browsing the isles at drug stores.

I enjoy Owen Wilson movies.

I enjoy Creed, as a group and thier music.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:54 pm

Ken wrote:PS. screw with me and I'll close the general discussion forums!

Wait! Maybe I'll ban the devil!

Wanna see the size of my massive e-penis?

I'm aware of your gargantuan e-penis. It is so big, clowns come out when you come.

However, there are a lot of big dlcks on this board, you have to agree...

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:58 pm

UOD wrote:I like to dress up in girl scout outfits while grinning menacingly in the mirror whilst eating cookies made with Liv-A-Snaps.

I have often had secret desires to blow up Blizzrad's World of Warcraft servers in hopes of creating mass panic and suicides.

Hate cake love pie.

I voted for George Bush...all of them....twice.

I've had unprotected sex, even with myself....(brb)

I teabag everyone, even my own teammates in any game.

And lastly, I hit on Indian chicks at Dell Tech support. RED DOT FTW!!!!!

Most impressive was your triple-spacing between some of the lines - a total disregard for space. Plus the Girl Scout thing makes you a front-runner.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 12:59 pm

Debbie wrote:

How about a beeeeeeeeeeyaaaaaaaaaatch for a sidekick eh?

Although your hickey-giving ability remains unsurpassed, I'm not sure that qualifies you. My previous sidekick could give them to sheep - THROUGH THE WOOL!

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:06 pm

WTF?!? Am I on ignore?

Look here little princey of darkness, I want response. Get your cloven hoof up outta yer ass and reply. Give someone anything close to absolute power in any kinda way and they get all uppity. This is almost as bad as the hold times in limbo.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:07 pm

brembo wrote:I called in a bomb threat to the Special Olympics.

I poke holes in condoms while browsing the isles at drug stores.

I enjoy Owen Wilson movies.

I enjoy Creed, as a group and thier music.

The Special Olympics thing is huge. Must have been like seeing a herd of cats panic or the Monty Python 100-meter dash for People with No Sense of Direction.

References?

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:10 pm

brembo wrote:WTF?!? Am I on ignore?

Look here little princey of darkness, I want response. Get your cloven hoof up outta yer ass and reply. Give someone anything close to absolute power in any kinda way and they get all uppity. This is almost as bad as the hold times in limbo.

Hey, I was working on Amy Winehouse's next blackout! Sheesh!

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:11 pm

Bit on edge today, as to the above post. Normally I don't have outbursts of that nature, I just jam a pencil into the occipital lobe of the individual making me angry.

Well, my references are mostly dead, so you can prolly catch them when yer water skiing on the lake of fire. Mussolini, Mengele and Izzo (who might reply to a PM on here).

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:12 pm

The Devil wrote:Although your hickey-giving ability remains unsurpassed, I'm not sure that qualifies you. My previous sidekick could give them to sheep - THROUGH THE WOOL!

Well, I could start from your backside, up your crooked spine and out of your mouth. How's that for talent.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:20 pm

The Devil wrote:The sheep is out of the bag. But since you did the right thing and confessed, it proves that you're the wrong man for the job. You should have lied and denied.

[SHAKES HEAD]

Where did I go wrong?

I lied. It wasn't me buying the cookies!!!!!!

/takes balls to double lie to the Devil/

blebs · Post by **blebs** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 1:27 pm

I'm demented and evil, but you know that already. No surprise there is it horned one?

David · Post by **David** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:37 pm

As a dentist, I dole out more pain in a day than you in a week, lightweight!

Gixxer · Post by **Gixxer** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:51 pm

David wrote:As a dentist, I dole out more pain in a day than you in a week, lightweight!

on the filp side, you make people look better and feel better about themselves and after the pain is gone

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 4:53 pm

Gixxer wrote:on the filp side, you make people look better and feel better about themselves and after the pain is gone

Are you trying to shoot David in the foot? He's trying for the job of Devil side-kick. Stop helping him!!!!!

brembo · Post by **brembo** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:21 pm

The Devil wrote:Hey, I was working on Amy Winehouse's next blackout! Sheesh!

Earlier I was rushed and a bit peeved at the slight, but I must say....you have earned your rep as the master. That's some fine work.

Since yer reachable right now I have a request. It's not horribly evil, in fact it's likely a good thing, but even you, Dark Lord of Hades, might get some giggles outta this request.

Please be for making Celine Dion go hoarse during a concert. Hoarse as in croaking like a toad, or fingernails on the blackboard voice. Oh oh oh, OR lose Naomi Campbell's luggage in Singapore, I'd LOVE to see her slap a cop from that town.

David · Post by **David** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:19 pm

Gixxer wrote:on the filp side, you make people look better and feel better about themselves and after the pain is gone

Quite true, and I was being facetious about the pain.

David · Post by **David** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:20 pm

MadDoctor wrote:Are you trying to shoot David in the foot? He's trying for the job of Devil side-kick. Stop helping him!!!!!

The Devil is no threat match for a doctor with a god complex.

Bastid · Post by **Bastid** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 8:28 pm

hey dude.... long time no see.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:21 pm

brembo wrote:Earlier I was rushed and a bit peeved at the slight, but I must say....you have earned your rep as the master. That's some fine work.

Since yer reachable right now I have a request. It's not horribly evil, in fact it's likely a good thing, but even you, Dark Lord of Hades, might get some giggles outta this request.

Please be for making Celine Dion go hoarse during a concert. Hoarse as in croaking like a toad, or fingernails on the blackboard voice. Oh oh oh, OR lose Naomi Campbell's luggage in Singapore, I'd LOVE to see her slap a cop from that town.

I'll think about it. I'm pretty busy right now.

[SOUND OF DORITOS BAG OPENING]

Hey, Jon Stewart is on!

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:27 pm

Reporting for duty, sir.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:31 pm

David wrote:The Devil is no threat match for a doctor with a god complex.

Ah yes, doctors. Interesting creatures. So helpful to others, for a hefty price of course. And the whole God Complex thing, where do they get that? I must have missed the part in The Bible where it says, "Thou shalt help thy neighbor - if he can afford it."

Since they do Good, I don't often have them as customers. But rumor has it that God makes them clean toilets for a while, upon arrival, just to make clear the pecking order.

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:33 pm

Bastid wrote:hey dude.... long time no see.

Yes, but I've seen YOU all along. Anything you'd like to confess?

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:34 pm

Izzo wrote:Reporting for duty, sir.

Fairly presumptuous for one who has yet to extend an offer to join the Axis of Evil...

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:37 pm

The Devil wrote:Fairly presumptuous for one who has yet to extend an offer to join the Axis of Evil...

I'd apologize but that's too puss-like so I'll just extend the invite as we need far more evil in the AOE.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Tue Jun 17, 2008 11:49 pm

*a picture will sometimes get you where words won't*

1) chicks
2) thread crap

The Devil · Post by **The Devil** » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:41 am

Izzo wrote:I'd apologize but that's too puss-like so I'll just extend the invite as we need far more evil in the AOE.

Good move. I'm in.

We'll need women for the upcoming Evil party. Lots and lots of women.