Girlfriend/mortgage

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 12:22 am

I have another 18 years on my mortgage, about 1700+ monthly right now.

My girlfriend has been living here the past 6 months, moved out of her place 3 months ago.
Living together.

First time in this situation.
No, I'm not paying rent.
Yes, paying one hell of a mortgage.

Trying to figure out whether to ask her for anything additional than the utilities.

Opinions welcomed.
Thanks

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:23 pm

Humboldt wrote:Living together.

Share together.

Equally... but proportional to what each person makes.

Post by **YeOldeStonecat** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 1:53 pm

Whelp...the tough part is bringing this subject up "after she moved in". The time to discuss this was...~4 months ago..before her decision to move out of her place and into yours. But to be fair to yourself...you gotta talk about it, else you'd probably start feeling taken advantage of.

That being said...think of a way to bring up the subject..."Hey, OK, so can we have a talk about living expenses?" And then like Goathumper mentioned above...a fair percentage...not necessarily 50/50, but I'd look at things such as *What she makes, *What kind of debts she might have, *What her prior rent was (I would not ask for more than her prior rent was).

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 2:25 pm

YeOldeStonecat wrote:Whelp...the tough part is bringing this subject up "after she moved in". The time to discuss this was...~4 months ago..before her decision to move out of her place and into yours. But to be fair to yourself...you gotta talk about it, else you'd probably start feeling taken advantage of.

The man speaks the truth.

YeOldeStonecat wrote:That being said...think of a way to bring up the subject..."Hey, OK, so can we have a talk about living expenses?" And then like Goathumper mentioned above...a fair percentage...not necessarily 50/50, but I'd look at things such as *What she makes, *What kind of debts she might have, *What her prior rent was (I would not ask for more than her prior rent was).

If you don't, it's always going to be sitting at the back of your mind. If talking about money in the casual fashion WetOldHairball indicated is uncomfortable, perhaps you should set the watch for icebergs in the months to come.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 3:44 pm

I wouldn't do 50/50 but I'd charge something, she is living there, but its your place.

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 6:32 pm

like cat said,it's too late now,those details if needed should have been talked about and agreed on before she moved in,

the house payment is the same if she is there or not,and it's in your name and credit.(maybe if down the road marriage or whatever happens could change the game)

maybe I'm old school,I wouldn't ask for anything from her right now,

I'm sure she will help out a lot around the house,(lots of chores and maintenance needed around that place),she'll be there for you ,share things with,etc,etc

ask her for $ help from time to time when needed and call it a day for now.

see how it goes for a couple years,relax,enjoy her being there,

did you have her move in for a close relationship or for a room mate for financial aide ?

either way,I would tread lightly in this area.

I have had a few women move in with me over the years and I have never asked for those $ things,they seem to be pretty smart and figure out it's a two way street and they end up doing the right stuff,whether it's financial help or any of the other many things that can be and need to be done around a house.If you picked the right woman for you then she will surprise you and things will work out.

Post by **Philip** » Sat Dec 05, 2015 9:26 pm

Like everyone already mentioned, try to make it some type of fair arrangement, so neither of you feels taken advantage of.

Keep in mind that your mortgage is different than rent... The portion of your payment that is principal actually goes towards you owning that house, you are getting some equity back. If she's already paying utilities you are getting some type of financial break, so it all boils down to what the two of you feel is "fair".

Faust · Post by **Faust** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 1:58 am

I may have missed something, but just to throw this out there...

Could her making payments to support their shared home mean she has a right to a portion of the home's equity?

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 9:47 am

Faust wrote:Could her making payments to support their shared home mean she has a right to a portion of the home's equity?

A person who rents an apartment does not have rights to a portion of that apartment (hence the rental agreement). Equity is shared when ink dries. I don't think 'moving in' is that formal.

However... I know some lawyers looking to pay their country club dues in January, and would be happy to write something up for a small fee. Everyone's comfort level is different.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:45 pm

*thread jack in progress*

MadDoctor wrote:

I know some lawyers looking to pay their country club dues in January, and would be happy to write something up for a small fee.

Really? And what do you consider a small fee? My sister (God bless her and her crippled cricket collection) considers a small fee $0.

Small. What. $250/hour?

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:47 pm

Yes. $250/hour.

*note how my post count is going up. A large post count improves your chances of being able to breed with the "prettier" of the flock*

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:51 pm

hell one of the tattooers that does tattoos on me is at $250 hr

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:54 pm

No kidding?!?!?!?!?! I got mine a while back but I don't remember $250/hour. Sheeeeeeeeeee

*must stay on task*

You pay for quality, you get quality. You want cheap.... PM me.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:01 pm

*Note how big Dan's post count is. There is a very good chance he is getting all the wool he could ever want*

Another person jumping into your thread jack is a welcome opportunity to extend your post count. Not only can you 'key' off the original subject of someone living with you without going over the fine print... but now you can 'rabbit trail' to tattoos! And endless opportunity to jerk this thread 3,000 ways.

Don't attempt this without some previous Internet experience.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:10 pm

A pause between posts is important... if you want to avoid the eyes of the law.

Run to the kitchen and grab that bottle of mother's milk you've always wanted to taste. Come back to the computer and report in. DO NOT taste the jug juice until I say so.

*a sudden subject change that is absurd and somewhat stomach rolling is the mark of a seasoned "jacker"*

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:17 pm

MadDoctor wrote:... if you want to avoid the eyes of the law.

About that. What are some hard and true tips you can give the kids at home?

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:24 pm

I would suggest getting on the good side of the law... before you get in trouble. Cash. Lump sum or payments.

However, many in the law game prefer "personal services" over cash. Some things cannot be purchased and be enjoyed with the same furor.

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:25 pm

MadDoctor wrote:*Note how big Dan's schlong is. There is a very good chance he is getting all the booty he could ever want*

Another person jumping into your thread jack is a welcome opportunity to extend your post count. Not only can you 'key' off the original subject of someone living with you without going over the fine print... but now you can 'rabbit trail' to tattoos! And endless opportunity to jerk this thread 3,000 ways.

Don't attempt this without some previous Internet experience.

fixed

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:31 pm

you - are - sick

*talking to yourself is a tool you should keep sharp in the event no one is around to post. Try it now. Talk to yourself*

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:32 pm

Dan wrote:fixed

I see....................... I see very well... and that is a big one!

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:34 pm

See how Dan zipped in there and saved this thread from death??? I will now pause and give Dan a positive reputation point for his fine rimming. I mean timing. Damn spell check!!!!!

Dan · Post by **Dan** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 3:42 pm

MadDoctor wrote:No kidding?!?!?!?!?! I got mine a while back but I don't remember $250/hour. Sheeeeeeeeeee

*must stay on task*

You pay for quality, you get quality. You want cheap.... PM me.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 10:57 pm

I have the "not shown" $2 tattoo.

Post by **Philip** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:15 pm

[lurking]

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:19 pm

YeOldeStonecat wrote:Whelp...the tough part is bringing this subject up "after she moved in". The time to discuss this was...~4 months ago..before her decision to move out of her place and into yours. But to be fair to yourself...you gotta talk about it, else you'd probably start feeling taken advantage of.

We did. I'm not a *complete* moron.
And she has been. Just not sure how I feel about it.

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:20 pm

Dan wrote:like cat said,it's too late now,those details if needed should have been talked about and agreed on before she moved in,

See above

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:20 pm

Humboldt wrote:We did. I'm not a *complete* moron.

I have that base covered, thank you very much.

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:21 pm

Philip wrote:[lurking]

*cool it. cops are here.*

WTH!?!?!??!???!?! 3 post counts?!?!?!?!? I don't feel the love! I dished out a lot of good spamming material there and I demand to....... Oh.. Hi Phil. *smooch*

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sun Dec 06, 2015 11:23 pm

MadDoctor wrote:I have that base covered, thank you very much.

Not talking about sheep porn here.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Mon Dec 07, 2015 10:02 am

Touchy situation... IMHO it comes down to the type of relationship...

Personally I have never made a concubine pay rent or anything, that way if the welcome becomes worn out, no guilt on the- don't let the door hit you where the lord split you...

If it is just a room mate with occasion booty call due to the needs/desire of both (no committed relationship) then let her cover all utilities, split rent, whatever you deem as fair as doable by her... Unless she is slammin' the cash (nude dancer, escort, mad docs harem and such) don't hit her too hard...about the money, that is...

Put your big boy pants on and man up on it! That is the way the life of a man goes... They have it, we want it, so go get it!

If it is getting serious (hear the bells...?) then the money would probably begin to become pooled anyway. Should be no problem with you 2 talking about your future together including finances... If 2 care for each other to that degree, if not...it is on limited time anyway...

I may not be able to reply back for a couple weeks unless you post today as I will be boarding a plane and not back in the country for a couple of weeks... [licking lips for some boat drinks]

MadDoctor · Post by **MadDoctor** » Mon Dec 07, 2015 12:51 pm

Ken wrote: ...as I will be boarding a plane and not back in the country for a couple of weeks.

*has FBI jet fueled for tracking the spy called "Ken"*

blacklab · Post by **blacklab** » Sun Dec 27, 2015 6:12 pm

Just curious, about the US rules. In Canada if you live as man and wife for anymore that about six months the party that is put out may be able to collect part of the homestead.

If you file joint taxes as man and wife, both have a claim unless there is a legal paper agreement first.

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 12:49 am

blacklab wrote:Just curious, about the US rules. In Canada if you live as man and wife for anymore that about six months the party that is put out may be able to collect part of the homestead.

If you file joint taxes as man and wife, both have a claim unless there is a legal paper agreement first.

Girlfriend, not man and wife, unless that's an odd and badly worded reference to a man and a woman living together and having sex for 6 months.

blacklab · Post by **blacklab** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 1:20 am

Humboldt wrote:Girlfriend, not man and wife, unless that's an odd and badly worded reference to a man and a woman living together and having sex for 6 months.

When she is there 24/7, and she has no other place she is paying rent on, isn't that what most married, or common law couples do?

I think women are the greatest creatures on earth, but when they are peed off I do not want to be in their sights. They can loose all reason and do things they may be sorry for when it is too late.

Experience says get the details looked after. If everything goes fine then look at putting some effort into the relationship, if it can't get by the details, well you don't have that much invested. Never worry about the good things in a relationship, pay attention to what bugs you. If you can't get by what bugs you, things will only get worse. Remember the old saying "Women marry men figuring they can change them, men marry women hopping they won't change."

Just thinkin'