Oh crap...WTF? Major help needed this way.

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:53 am

Most of you know who I am so if you do this will make alot more sense than if you dont

My current g/f out of nowhere yesterday started hinting around about 'a diamond' on her finger.

This completely threw me off, I honestly at first had no idea how to respond to the massive hints. Actually they weren't hints, I was basically asked when she might get one. The reason it has thrown me off is because it's never even been hinted at before and I always got the idea she wasn't all that much into marriage. It kept me up last night for a while, cuz there a couple of underlying issues I have with a few things that MUST be addressed before we're married.

Do I want even want to remarry? I actually like the setup I have now...

Something I come up with last night was thinking things over for a couple of months at least, seeing if actually proposing is what I wanna do. Propose and stuff and have a decently long engagement first. That way there's time to run if the couple of issues I have aren't resolved..lol

Facts:
I love her alot and am in love with her.
I love spending time with her.
We have quite a few things in common.
And damnit she's hot and has one hell of a rockin body!!

C'mon Debbie...let me hear your thoughts

JAFO · Post by **JAFO** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:59 am

I realize that I don't know you and you don't know me, but here's my $.02 worth:

Run. Don't look back, don't think twice, just RUN.
If you had wanted to get married, you would have asked her. Don't let her pressure you into marriage. (I almost laughed when I typed that, but it's true)

.02

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 9:59 am

Run away!

Post by **YeOldeStonecat** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:10 am

What's up!

Well, I can relate somewhat...similar boat as you, except I didn't have strong hints from mine...but one or two....in that, she didn't want to make similar mistakes that she had in her past..."move in with a guy", etc.

Gotta look into yourself..and your own heart for this.

With my situation...this was my second chance with Michelle...as her and I had known each other for around 8 years....way back then when I was single, she was with her ex..but they were on their way out...so all we did was have smiles, eye contact, jokes...that sort of "flirting" stuff. Then right when I started dating my ex wife...I was on my 3rd date or something..on my way over to her house..when Michelle calls me...she was out with her sister..and made her move on me. However..being on my way to the 3rd date with my ex wife...I kept going...spitting out some excuse. Man..hindsite...if only I had turned around back then and went to see Michelle.

But...fate...about 14 months ago..she heard I was divorced for a while...she was single, gave me a call.and here we are now.

Honestly...I didn't figure I'd remarry for a long...looong time....if at all. But....the relationship that grew with Michelle...we became like siamese twins....inseparable..hated to be apart from each other. I found myself more into her than anyone ever..in my past. I decided to give love, and marriage...one more chance. Hey...3rd time is a charm, right?

It's something you have to look deep into your heart for. Don't let a marriage that didn't work in the past ruin things for you. Learn from it, look at your past marriage..look at yourself....see what didn't work, and do your best to see that you don't repeat that pattern again. You're young, people make mistakes. Learn from them...and in learning to not repeat those mistakes that contributed to a failed relationship in the past...you'll be that much better in your new relationship. You'll have that much more drive to make it work.

Things that need addressing before you get married? Usually easy to figure out and discuss.

TNATireFryer · Post by **TNATireFryer** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:10 am

-get i think it is called a prenubtual agreement - if things ever go bad and ya split - whats yours is yours and whats hers is hers

the things you buy together the courts will split between you or you both can agree who gets what -
hope ya have a good one![hard to find these days]

frostybear · Post by **frostybear** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:50 am

Ask her if she knows where diamonds come from and what some people have to go through in order for them to be brought over here. It should get her thinking...hopefully.

knightmare · Post by **knightmare** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:53 am

Your only move now is to decide what kind of cut you want on the Diamond..(pear-shaped, round, etc..)

knightmare · Post by **knightmare** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:54 am

frostybear wrote:Ask her if she knows where diamonds come from and what some people have to go through in order for them to be brought over here. It hsould get her thinking...hopefully.

Good Idea, rent a copy of "Blood Diamond", and have her watch it...

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:54 am

knightmare wrote:Your only move now is to decide what kind of cut you want on the Diamond..(pear-shaped, round, etc..)

LOL that was made clear to me which is preferred

Gixxer · Post by **Gixxer** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 11:05 am

Keg Party wrote:Most of you know who I am so if you do this will make alot more sense than if you dont

My current g/f out of nowhere yesterday started hinting around about 'a diamond' on her finger. This completely threw me off, I honestly at first had no idea how to respond to the massive hints. Actually they weren't hints, I was basically asked when she might get one. The reason it has thrown me off is because it's never even been hinted at before and I always got the idea she wasn't all that much into marriage. It kept me up last night for a while, cuz there a couple of underlying issues I have with a few things that MUST be addressed before we're married.

Do I want even want to remarry? I actually like the setup I have now...

Something I come up with last night was thinking things over for a couple of months at least, seeing if actually proposing is what I wanna do. Propose and stuff and have a decently long engagement first. That way there's time to run if the couple of issues I have aren't resolved..lol

Facts:
I love her alot and am in love with her.
I love spending time with her.
We have quite a few things in common.
And damnit she's hot and has one hell of a rockin body!!

C'mon Debbie...let me hear your thoughts

you know all those horror stories about marriage? well they are ture. you don't find out how true until after you get married. then you can't just grab a bag and leave. you have to call your lawyer first then she calls hers then, well you get my point.

TonyT · Post by **TonyT** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 12:59 pm

If you approach marriage with the viewpoint "that if it doesn't work out we can always get a divorce' then the marriage is doomed to fail right from the start. If you have any doubts at all presently then don't get married. Know before you go. If after a year of being together you don't know each other well enough to make the decision to get married then you'll never know each other well enough. You either know or you don't know, one or the other. Maybe opens the door to failure.

MissTynker2 · Post by **MissTynker2** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:14 pm

If you have some unresolved issues at this point, neither a diamond or marriage is going to repair them, imho, nor might they even be addressed after the fact. You yourself are displaying some hesitation, which says to me, there is more than just a little doubt.

Buying a diamond with the attitude of a long engagement to see if it works, is much the same as has already been suggested here...is the wrong reason to do so, again, imho. Speak with your lady...resolve those issues first. I believe those have first priority . Don't be pressured into something that you are not yet comfortable with...you will know when and if the time is right.

ub3r_n00b · Post by **ub3r_n00b** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:18 pm

be a man and put the rock on her finger.

frostybear · Post by **frostybear** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:22 pm

ub3r_n00b wrote:be a man and put the rock on her finger.

That isnt being a man....

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 1:24 pm

If you both love each other now ....you'll both love each other 6 months from now.

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:15 pm

Cool...thanks for the info everyone.
I was married for technically 13 years and as most of you know the divorce was rocky and ended a few years ago...some of it was on the board..haha
I wont' go through that again...I'm not the same person as before so if it happens it won't be cuz of me

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:24 pm

Obey your master...

Comtrad · Post by **Comtrad** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:29 pm

give her a cracker jack ring, when you ask.

if she is happy with that, she is good (and then give her the real ring). if not, dump her ass.

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:40 pm

Comtrad wrote:give her a cracker jack ring, when you ask.

if she is happy with that, she is good (and then give her the real ring). if not, dump her ass.

LOL...not bad. Kinda mean, but not bad

Randy · Post by **Randy** » Mon Feb 18, 2008 2:49 pm

buy a rock, have her sit down and ask her if she would still love you and be happy if you don't get married. If she says Yes, then pull out the rock and propose.

then after ask her to marry you at the baseball game and several other media related events lol

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:41 pm

Full court press today......

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 7:59 pm

Keg Party wrote:Most of you know who I am so if you do this will make alot more sense than if you dont

My current g/f out of nowhere yesterday started hinting around about 'a diamond' on her finger. This completely threw me off, I honestly at first had no idea how to respond to the massive hints. Actually they weren't hints, I was basically asked when she might get one. The reason it has thrown me off is because it's never even been hinted at before and I always got the idea she wasn't all that much into marriage. It kept me up last night for a while, cuz there a couple of underlying issues I have with a few things that MUST be addressed before we're married.

Do I want even want to remarry? I actually like the setup I have now...

Something I come up with last night was thinking things over for a couple of months at least, seeing if actually proposing is what I wanna do. Propose and stuff and have a decently long engagement first. That way there's time to run if the couple of issues I have aren't resolved..lol

Facts:
I love her alot and am in love with her.
I love spending time with her.
We have quite a few things in common.
And damnit she's hot and has one hell of a rockin body!!

C'mon Debbie...let me hear your thoughts

Love her through good and "bad" times. It is the latter that many forget and curse the thought of marriage when **** hits the fan.

Never take a woman for granted after you married her. THe same is true for a woman to never take a man for granted after marrying him. The relationship will always require work. It doesn't end with marriage. Very important.

She is not your ex. Make sure you have let go of that past experience so that it does not affect your present relationship.

Those are my thoughts.

Good luck to you.

One more thing...I believe it was mentioned in one of the above posts....If in doubt, don't. You will know when you are ready. There will be no questioning it. We understand that you want to make sure you are doing the right thing.

You can make a list of pros and cons of your current relationship and see what side of the list outweighs the other. Sometimes that is helpful.

Mark · Post by **Mark** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:04 pm

keg party, who are you ?

dupe account or old account ?

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:25 pm

Trying to make her feel guilty by watching Blood Diamond? Don't know much about women if you think that making them feel guilty about how corrupt the diamond industry is would make her not want one.

Talk about your worries with her and see how it goes. Also, nothing wrong with premarital counseling. My wife and I did it and I had no issues with our relationship taking that step to marriage. Though I was at first hesitant cuz I didn't think that we needed it, it was a great decision.

Rainbow · Post by **Rainbow** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:48 pm

You'll know when your ready?

When I got married I didn't really want to. I pretty much did it because she wanted to. The night before I was thinking to myself what the heck am I doing?
Well that was 28 years ago this year and we still do everything together. We even go to the bar together

Was I sure when I did it, not even close. Am I glad I did..without a doubt.

JAFO · Post by **JAFO** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 3:04 pm

Bump: to find out if Keg Party flew the coop or dropped the cash.

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Wed Feb 20, 2008 11:18 pm

Keg, what happened? This thread feels like a hit and run.

Keg Party · Post by **Keg Party** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:13 pm

We are still talking about it...getting down details and what-if's. I love her to death and wouldn't mind putting a ring on her finger and having a long engagement.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:56 pm

Hey Kegel (

) (Pun intended!

)

Communication is one of the necessary components for a relationship to work. You have to be able to sit together and discuss your fears and reservations as well as your likes and expectations.
Trust is another (refer back to communication...)

You will not always agree on everything, and compromise is important... Give and take... Love is a 2 way street, one way does not work... No sirve...

I have never been 100% sure on anything in my entire life... I have convinced myself of many things, sometimes for the better, others for the worse... That's life... If you do make a commitment, you must do everything in your power to see it through.

If kid(s) are involved, you must ALWAYS put the kid(s) first, no exceptions to this... Children are the first priority, not the second...

No one can tell you what to do. You 2 must decide together...

Good luck in whatever you 2 decide...

Roody · Post by **Roody** » Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:04 pm

Ok I gotta say it.

ics: of rockin body?