Americans With No Abilities Act Passes In Congress

[Prey521]

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT PASSES CONGRESS
May 23, 2005
WASHINGTON, DC (AP)

Congress approved sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for
many Americans.

The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA), signed into law by Newly
Inducted President John Kerry shortly after its passage by the new
Democratic Congress, is being hailed as a major victory by advocates of the
millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said
Kerry, a longtime AWNA supporter. "This is why many of them voted for me.
We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and
passed over.

With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special
favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or
have some idea of what they are doing", said Kerry. President Kerry pointed
to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy
of providing opportunity without regard to performance.

Approximately 80 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this
agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability. Private
sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept
include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%) and home improvement
"warehouse" stores (65%) President Kerry has also set an example,
personally selecting hundreds of Non-abled people for top government
positions, including many cabinet-level jobs.
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and
performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be
given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable
employees.

The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which
maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in top positions, and
gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one
clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to
discriminate against the Non-abled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have
any skills or experience which relate to this job?" and "Are you awake?"

"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a
lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job
skills. "This new law should really help people like me."

With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented
citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Kerry, "It
is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen,
regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in
this great nation .

[Zilog B]

[cybotron r_9]

hey, did you know JFK is a War Hero.....

[Scum333]

Look, you have to remember that John Kerry is a communist. We here in my parts call him the PINK menace.

If he gets elected, I will of course obey him as he is our supreme leader.

We'll teach those filthy capitalist pig dog slime a thing or too.

[BaLa]

[CiscoKid]

Look, you have to remember that John Kerry is a communist. We here in my parts call him the PINK menace.

If he gets elected, I will of course obey him as he is our supreme leader.

We'll teach those filthy capitalist pig dog slime a thing or too.