SG Broadband Community

"does this make me look fat?"

What's a man to do.........

Originally posted by RoundEye
"does this make me look fat?"

What's a man to do.........

Don't agree, never never never agree.

Not unless you like frying pan smackers on the head

when the question is asked u just fake a seizure and hit the ground

Originally posted by EthanHunt16
when the question is asked u just fake a seizure and hit the ground

That's the best answer. If you say "no," then you're lying, and God forbid you say "yes."

Originally posted by SilverDakota


That's the best answer. If you say "no," then you're lying, and God forbid you say "yes."

if you say no you'd be lying and if u say yes then you'd get ur teeth smackd outta ur mouth...

ask BaLa for the answer.. LOL

Survival odds are better playing Russian Roulette with all the chambers loaded

Well........ you could try answering it honestly...

"no, not at all, but these sure do." *as you point to a bag of potato chips*

Originally posted by torsten
Well........ you could try answering it honestly...

"no, not at all, but these sure do." *as you point to a bag of potato chips*

just make sure those chips arent in her hand!

Rules that guys wished girls knew..........

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are repared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the hotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not a sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would lookgood with your dress?

21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25. Check your oil.

26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two
months we were going out.

41. Anyone can buy condoms.

1.) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.

2.) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.

3.) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better chance of getting an immediate response.

4.) When we are watching your show and I change the channels during a commercial do not hassle me that they are over to change the channel back. I always know when the timing is right. Also, when we are channel surfing do not ask me to go back, there was a good reason why I skipped it.

5.) If you need help with the laundry, I am more than willing to carry it from the bedroom to the washer. In my mind this is half the chore and I am now free to return to the couch.

6.) If I mention that a male friend of mine is allowed to do something it is not necessary for you to call his wife/girlfriend to discuss it.

7.) If you don't like the way I am driving close your eyes. And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making that reverse inhaling alarmed noise. I haven't hit anything yet and if I do it will be your fault.

8.) I go clothes shopping to buy, never to look.

9.) Just tell me what you want me to wear before I get dressed. And remember that this takes me less than ten minutes no matter what the occasion is. after all I am getting dressed, not getting ready.

10.) Don't ask me if I prefer one outfit over another or if a certain
accessory should be worn or not. I consider this a no win situation and would rather just wait for you to get dressed while watching TV.

11.) If you want me to put the seat down when I am finished then you should leave the seat up when you are finished. It's only fair. And stop giving me a hard time about missing the bowl. What do you expect from an organ that has a brain of its own.

12.) I will cook anything as long as it is on the BBQ.

13.) Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

LOL... glad I've never had to hear that...


Maddoc, those are some killer guidelines....

13.) Yelling to me across the house sounds exactly like stadium crowd background noise to me. I am not ignoring you.

ROFLMAO!!! I experience this one first hand everyday. When I was younger I used to think I was lazy to not get up and try and find out what was trying to be said...now that I'm older I just figure if it's important enough she'll get up and walk within range. LOL that's why I love my PC too, this fan drowns out alot of background noise which=less auditory suffering

Originally posted by DiskDoc



if you say no you'd be lying and if u say yes then you'd get ur teeth smackd outta ur mouth...

ask BaLa for the answer.. LOL

pointing the finger at me again?
sigh...

Your avatar is cool, Roundeye.

Originally posted by RoundEye
"does this make me look fat?"

What's a man to do.........

Wait a few more years worth of it.....

That question is worse than a loaded gun at a drinking party. There is not a right answer....

Long version...

The five questions that women ask men are:
1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:

1 - "What are you thinking?" The proper answer to this question, of course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:
a - Baseball
b - Football
c - How fat you are.
d - How much prettier she is than you.
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died.

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking." The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:

2 - "Do you love me?" The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes, dear." Wrong answers include:
a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?


3 - "Do I look fat?" The correct male response to this question is to confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:
a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.


4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?" The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard that you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong answers include:
a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.


5 - "What would you do if I died?" Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid joke:

"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause. "Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband. "I see," said the wife indignantly." And would you let her wear my old clothes?" "I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband. "Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?" "Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do." "Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too." "Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She is left-handed."

Good stuff MadDoc and soooooo true.

I prefer the honest approach.....however, wife has a good sense of humor and just laughs.

Wife - "Honey, Do these pants make me look fat?"

Husband - "No, dear! I thinks it's your @$$ that makes those pants look fat."

Of course, it's a big help that wife is not fat at all, has good figure, and stays trim and fit. She only asks that question when she's joking.

LMAO...If these questions are from the typicial woman I must not be a typical one at all

And would someone please explain to my b/f that Sunday's are indeed for sports!!! specially when its Football season!!

Originally posted by binksfan
Husband - "No, dear! I thinks it's your @$$ that makes those pants look fat."

Originally posted by BaLa

pointing the finger at me again?
sigh...

always

Last time Chris and I showered together was last year I think..when the silly man asked me "are you pregnant"..Do you think his choice of words at the time was intellegent?? I think not.

Originally posted by splash
Last time Chris and I showered together was last year I think..when the silly man asked me "are you pregnant"..Do you think his choice of words at the time was intellegent?? I think not.

Oh-my LMAO, no I think his timing was a bit off there!!

Originally posted by splash
Last time Chris and I showered together was last year I think..when the silly man asked me "are you pregnant"..Do you think his choice of words at the time was intellegent?? I think not.

OMG!!!

And why was that so bad? OMG!!! you're not perfect. Don't take it so personally.. laugh it off instead

Qwijib0

You've never had a girlfriend, huh?

Originally posted by RoundEye
Qwijib0

You've never had a girlfriend, huh?

One... and she didn't ask stupid questions like that in the first place. Do women really need that much postive reinfocement about their weight? Insane.

Originally posted by Qwijib0
OMG!!!

And why was that so bad? OMG!!! you're not perfect. Don't take it so personally.. laugh it off instead

One... and she didn't ask stupid questions like that in the first place. Do women really need that much postive reinfocement about their weight? Insane.

I never ask..and I know I'm not perfect...and the post was supposed to be funny. You know a yuk-yuk...pointed toward the thread itself.

my girlfriend and i have fun with this question. since, well, we're both crazy. heh. she asks me and i try and come up with a good non-pc super "your in deep do-do" answer.

my best so far has been:

"Yea, you're fat. But that's ok, I'm into fat-chicks."

Originally posted by splash


I never ask..and I know I'm not perfect...and the post was supposed to be funny. You know a yuk-yuk...pointed toward the thread itself.

the :mad didn't really tip me off to your 'joke'

Originally posted by RoundEye
"does this make me look fat?"

What's a man to do.........

i would say please rephrase the question
ex: "does this make me look skinny?"
response "no!"

then run like a mofo

You Look Marvelous!





besides, cushin is good!

You Look Marvelous!

*[/best Billy Crystal impression]
-----------------------------------

Good One .....BMED