I finally understand the difference between a Democrat and a Republican

blacklab · Post by **blacklab** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 10:59 pm

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes round the
corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Glock 9 mm, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look p oor! Or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think? What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BAN! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click.(sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ...
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Tips or Hollow Points?"
Son: "You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?"
Wife: "You are not taking that to the taxidermist!"

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sun Jul 25, 2010 11:11 pm

Massive humor fail...and I love my guns.

You forgot the link to a Fox interview/spin that's sure to accompany said incident.

You know...for those that really believe Fox News is a real news station

Not that I don't love humor, just hard to please everyone.

I'm sure JC and Miggs will love it.

blacklab · Post by **blacklab** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 1:13 am

I often wondered, if I lived in the US would I be a Democrat or a Republican.

I think I would be a Republican, or maybe just stay a Redneck.

Miggs · Post by **Miggs** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:01 am

A democrat would first apologize to the poor young man and then quickly get him on state welfare and state housing , this would make the democrat feel good inside.

Miggs · Post by **Miggs** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 7:51 am

Humboldt wrote:Massive humor fail...and I love my guns.

I disagree, I'm rolling over here laughing my ass off.

blebs · Post by **blebs** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:42 am

blacklab wrote:I often wondered, if I lived in the US would I be a Democrat or a Republican.

I think I would be a Republican, or maybe just stay a Redneck.

Redneck would work better then any other. If this country were truly run by a government BY the people FOR the people, then maybe party lines would mean something. As is, it's nothing more then a big time wrestling show. You know, they kick each others asses on tv, then go out and have dinner, fine wine and women, together in private.

Prey521 · Post by **Prey521** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:05 am

That sounds about right.

blacklab · Post by **blacklab** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 10:49 am

blebs wrote:Redneck would work better then any other. If this country were truly run by a government BY the people FOR the people, then maybe party lines would mean something. As is, it's nothing more then a big time wrestling show. You know, they kick each others asses on tv, then go out and have dinner, fine wine and women, together in private.

Fixed

You know, they kick each others asses on tv, then go out and have dinner, fine wine and women, together in private payed for by the taxpayers.

You forgot the most important thing.

jeremyboycool · Post by **jeremyboycool** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 12:39 pm

Miggs wrote:I disagree, I'm rolling over here laughing my ass off.

Ya, but you don't count. You don't really have an opinion; you just go around and try to stir people up.

JC · Post by JC » Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:01 pm

jeremyboycool wrote:Ya, but you don't count. You don't really have an opinion; you just go around and try to stir people up.

That's a total s-hit post.

jeremyboycool · Post by **jeremyboycool** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:15 pm

JC wrote:That's. A total s-hit post jerkoff.

No period after "that's", lower case "A", comma after "post" and "jerk-off" is a hyphenated word.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:22 pm

jeremyboycool wrote:No period after "that's", lower case "A", comma after "post" and "jerk-off" is a hyphenated word.

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:24 pm

JC wrote:That's. A total s-hit post jerkoff.

and yet it smacks of truth.

Hell, Miggs even crapped on Sava's funny thread trying to get a political dig in

http://forums.speedguide.net/showthread ... 920&page=4

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Mon Jul 26, 2010 2:24 pm

What about us independants that will give him a speech about how forked up both sides are so long he will want to kill himself with papercuts.

Xpunge · Post by **Xpunge** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:04 am

very funny.

what's even funnier is the libtards with their panties wadded up so tight in their crack all they know is "404, funnay not found".

Xpunge · Post by **Xpunge** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:07 am

jeremyboycool wrote:No period after "that's", lower case "A", comma after "post" and "jerk-off" is a hyphenated word.

the last bastion of pantie wadders, the grammar nazi

nothing left ot say but neeners neeners like ....well we'll just leave it there

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:13 am

Xpunge wrote:very funny.

what's even funnier is the libtards with their panties wadded up so tight in their crack all they know is "404, funnay not found".

What's funny is the jack-in-the-box response from you

You and Miggs fell right into line with your very original responses. How unpredictable.

Xpunge · Post by **Xpunge** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:19 am

Humboldt wrote: How unpredictable.

hey there pot, typical from you and your kind on here, inline. yup you know it well.

Humboldt · Post by **Humboldt** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:24 am

Xpunge wrote:hey there pot, typical from you and your kind on here, inline. yup you know it well.

My kind?
You know me so well, eh?

Since you and Jesse Helms don't realize how ridiculous you come across with your posts, who am I to criticize?

C'mon, just a little bit more drivel and you could be a Great American too.

Xpunge · Post by **Xpunge** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 11:29 am

Humboldt wrote:My kind?
You know me so well, eh?

Since you and Jesse Helms don't realize how ridiculous you come across with your posts, who am I to criticize?

C'mon, just a little bit more drivel and you could be a Great American too.

oh pot, you can do better than that. you try to hard, ruins the funny and increases the fail.

btw, i pattern my racism alone the lines of robert byrd.

jeremyboycool · Post by **jeremyboycool** » Mon Aug 02, 2010 1:14 pm

Xpunge wrote:the last bastion of pantie wadders, the grammar nazi

nothing left ot say but neeners neeners like ....well we'll just leave it there

"grammar nazi"

Thank you, Xpunge! *Hugs*

I know you are trying to insult me, but it is nice to get some recognition for something I have worked so long at.