If YARDofSTUF were president

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:03 am

The IRS would be condemned as a terrorist organization

Speed limts would be as follows:
Highway, 65-90mph
Main roads, 50mph
back roads and schoolzones, 35

Cars would have the right of way,NOT people.

The US military would set up 25 bases long the mexican boarder and the coast guard would setup stations in the water for cuban boaters.

Abortion clinics would be covered up and Hello Kitty fan clubs.

Each state would get 4 representitives for congress, there would be no senate and house, just congress.

NASA would get a major cut in budget and told to work with the private sector, just make sure that they have their astronaunts sign that if they die their families get 250k and they cant sue.

Prostitution would be legal

Prostitutes would be fined for looking cheap, used, ugly, multigendered, and receive penalties for being too old.

Strippers would need a college degree because no, its not that easy to just shake it, Black and latin girls would need 2 years, white girls would require 4 years, and irish or british girls would be deported.

Corn oil based bio diesel fuel would be produced by teh government and sold at cost to compete with OPEC.

"Politically Correct" would be thrown out the "****ing Window"

Marriage, by the state, would come in 2, 5, and 10 year packages.

Criminals would be used on experiments to save the animals and shut the PETA PITAs up.

Drugs would be legalized to combat teh heath insurance prices.

Car insurance would be $500 a year per car from everyoen adn go into a fund to pay for damages, after the fund reaches X ammount of dollars extra would goto road work needed.

People would be issued a sepecial gun when the get their license that contains only 1 non reloadable bullet. THis would be used to slow crime, accidents, and fined all the idiots that would use it right away.

The US would withdraw from all other countries and would announce to the world the new foreign policy, "shoot us we shoot you" followed by a picture of nuclear weapons labeled with country and flag, one for each country in the world.

Young teens going to the mall to enter a gaming center to sit at a PC and play online games would be offered to priests in a peace offering to not rape the normal ones. The old people(above priest love age) doing this would be ok.

Commercial time in the middle of programs would be restricted to 10% of the progams length, 7 mins between shows to allow piss and popcorn time.

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:16 am

Yardy, a quick question....

If you were President..

Would you declare war on the pusher man?

Would you cut him he stands, and shoot him if he'd run
Would you kill him with your Bible and your razor and your gun?

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:29 am

downhill wrote:Yardy, a quick question....

If you were President..

Would you declare war on the pusher man?

Would you cut him he stands, and shoot him if he'd run
Would you kill him with your Bible and your razor and your gun?

I may have to look into banning Steppenwolf should you continue this rash behavior.

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:36 am

YARDofSTUF wrote:I may have to look into banning Steppenwolf should you continue this rash behavior.

WHAT? That's sacrilege!!

major marco · Post by **major marco** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:26 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:The IRS would be condemned as a terrorist organization

That's about the only thing that I agree with in your agenda, pRez.

IRS · Post by **IRS** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:17 pm

But I love my job

Now GIMME!!!!

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:19 pm

IRS wrote:But I love my job

Now GIMME!!!!

NO!

Starmax · Post by **Starmax** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:30 pm

i dunno,,i kinda like being able to go outside and take a leak And get in some hunting before my shows resume................

Starmax · Post by **Starmax** » Mon Oct 03, 2005 6:43 pm

Ive taken the liberty of posting YOS's exceptence speech......

IRS · Post by **IRS** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:50 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:NO!

then I'm just gona take it, to bad for you.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Tue Oct 04, 2005 11:57 pm

IRS wrote:then I'm just gona take it, to bad for you.

You cant, its in another demension

Ghosthunter · Post by **Ghosthunter** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 7:37 am

I will vote for you!!!

tao_jones · Post by **tao_jones** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 8:59 am

YARDofSTUF wrote:I may have to look into banning Steppenwolf should you continue this rash behavior.

I offically second that motion.

Meggie · Post by **Meggie** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:01 am

if yos were president i would move to canada.

although considering the current prez's actions.. Being a friend of the president would probably make me considerably more wealthy than the average person and immune from any form of punishment..

So maybe i would stick around

Ghosthunter · Post by **Ghosthunter** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:02 am

Meggie wrote:if yos were president i would move to canada.

although considering the current prez's actions.. Being a friend of the president would probably make me considerably more wealthy than the average person and immune from any form of punishment..

So maybe i would stick around

LOL

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:36 am

Meggie wrote:if yos were president i would move to canada.

although considering the current prez's actions.. Being a friend of the president would probably make me considerably more wealthy than the average person and immune from any form of punishment..

So maybe i would stick around

I would appoint you secretary of homeland sexuality, it would be your job to teach bitches, hos, wh0res, and sluts the proper way to put out.

Meggie · Post by **Meggie** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:37 am

YARDofSTUF wrote:I would appoint you secretary of homeland sexuality, it would be your job to teach bitches, hos, wh0res, and sluts the proper way to put out.

haha hmmm. im not sure how to take that.

should i feel insulted or complimented? hmmm...

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:42 am

Meggie wrote:haha hmmm. im not sure how to take that.

should i feel insulted or complimented? hmmm...

That will depend on the quality of work you do.

Lefty · Post by **Lefty** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:02 am

So far we have 2 candidates, YOS & Izzo. Anyone else want to jump in we can have our own mock election in Nov. I may even run.

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:38 am

Will you still refer to yourself in the third person if you are elected?...I know Izzo won't

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:45 am

Izzo wrote:Will you still refer to yourself in the third person if you are elected?...I know Izzo won't

Yes I offer it as an objective view into myself that the public can see to try adn understand my ways.

downhill · Post by **downhill** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:47 am

Meggie wrote:if yos were president i would move to canada.

although considering the current prez's actions.. Being a friend of the president would probably make me considerably more wealthy than the average person and immune from any form of punishment..

So maybe i would stick around

Who knows? You might even make a good Supreme Court Justice!

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:47 am

Have your thoughts changed on the use/abuse of the forward slash ?

//////

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:52 am

Izzo wrote:Have your thoughts changed on the use/abuse of the forward slash ?

//////

Its underused but no. Tho I dont feel its right for political debates.

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:54 am

YARDofSTUF wrote:Its underused but no. Tho I dont feel its right for political debates.

flip flopper

Meggie · Post by **Meggie** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:56 am

Izzo wrote:flip flopper

its to cold for flip flops, besides yos probably has wookie feet. (do they even make size 14 flip flops?) those would be funny lookin.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 10:57 am

Izzo wrote:flip flopper

Yes, actually I am and Reef is sponsoring me! I will be at all debates in Reef sandals! And I'll bring the Reef bikini contest program with me for an after party.

Spammy · Post by **Spammy** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:29 am

Lefty wrote:So far we have 2 candidates, YOS & Izzo. Anyone else want to jump in we can have our own mock election in Nov. I may even run.

I vote for Lefty

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:32 am

Spammy wrote:I vote for Lefty

*dispatches black helicopters*

Spammy · Post by **Spammy** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:49 am

Izzo wrote:*dispatches black helicopters*

Breaks out rocket Launcher

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:55 am

Spammy wrote:Breaks out rocket Launcher

Engages SkyNet sniper satalites

Spammy · Post by **Spammy** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:57 am

YARDofSTUF wrote:Engages SkyNet sniper satalites

Gets Randy to C4 your ass.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:58 am

Spammy wrote:Gets Randy to C4 your ass.

I have randy's beer held hostage that will be destroyed should he attempt it.

Spammy · Post by **Spammy** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 11:58 am

YARDofSTUF wrote:I have randy's beer held hostage that will be destroyed should he attempt it.

Has back up case for Randy to enjoy.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 12:00 pm

Spammy wrote:Has back up case for Randy to enjoy.

A case wont do when all the breweries are destroyed.

Izzo · Post by **Izzo** » Wed Oct 05, 2005 12:52 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:A case wont do when all the breweries are destroyed.

little do you know that my agents have been secretly deployed to protect all government assets ..

*puts stealth fighters/bombers on alert status*

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:11 pm

Changes to what I originally posted:

Police would now sell pot.

Shrinks would only be allowed to prescribe estasy.

Prostitution would be legal, but hookers would have to work out of motels, nto off the street. Like have the motels hire then.

I woudl declare war on global warming.

Debbie · Post by **Debbie** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:27 pm

YARDofSTUF wrote:Changes to what I originally posted:

Police would now sell pot.

Shrinks would only be allowed to prescribe estasy.

Prostitution would be legal, but hookers would have to work out of motels, nto off the street. Like have the motels hire then.

I woudl declare war on global warming.

While you are at it, why not make the Star Spangled Banner a gangster rap tune.

YARDofSTUF · Post by **YARDofSTUF** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 8:42 pm

Debbie wrote:While you are at it, why not make the Star Spangled Banner a gangster rap tune.

Gangtser Rap? I believe its called Gansta Rap! I would not do that, though with some of the people that have sang it, its already been destroyed.

I would consider turning Gansta Rap into Patriot Rap, probably not a good time sales wise though.

What about Patriotic Polka?

CableDude · Post by **CableDude** » Mon Apr 23, 2007 9:11 pm